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1. Justin Finch-Fletchley will secretly burn down Hogwarts. Draco will be blamed, because "nobody suspects the Hufflepuff!"

2. Snape is currently hiding in Animagus form, a la Peter Pettigrew. What Animagus form, you may ask? Why, Squidward, of course! Evidence: big noses, bad attitudes, vague slashy tendencies. Draco is disguised as Plankton. Dumbledore actually faked his own death and is hiding out as Spongebob. And Voldemort is, of course, keeping an eye on him disguised as Gary.

3. Everyone, even Buckbeak, is a transvestite. Some are open about it (Tonks, Remus, Hermione, Voldemort) and some are deep in the closet (Snape).

This is brought to you by ms_creant, pippie_poppins, and theotherchicago.
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On September 15th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC), lolathelumbajak commented:
I always thought Snape was quite open about it, myself.
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On September 15th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC), ms_creant replied:
I've sort of assumed so too, as in, when he came out of the closet in women's clothing it wasn't just some literal thing.
On November 27th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC), rubiconchild replied:
Dumbledore too, how else do you explain the "flamboyantly cut suit of PLUM VELVET" (my emphasis)?
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On November 27th, 2005 02:23 am (UTC), ms_creant replied:
Well, of course Dumbledore is a tranny. He's the leader of the Hogwarts Transvestites!
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